


Feelings

by Mello_McQueen



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-21
Updated: 2005-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-11 04:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/474330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mello_McQueen/pseuds/Mello_McQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Journal entry. Kaiba writes about his feelings towards a certain blonde puppy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

>  Written at: June 21, 2005.

**Feelings**  
  
Seto Kaiba  
 _June 10th. English 3rd hour._  
  
I don't know when these feelings started to form inside me, but they did. At first I didn't recognize them for what they were, or for who they were for. But thanks to my Otouto, I have come to recognize them as feelings of love. It's a little troubling to say the least, especially since these feelings are directed towards the one person, I constantly try to convince myself I hate.  
  
I constantly antagonize him, taunt him, tease him, bait a hook and dangle it in front of his face. I can never just be nice to him, I HAVE to be mean, cold, heartless, your standard bastard, jerk, jackass, you name it. It's almost a habit.  
  
Though I hate what I do to him sometimes, I also thoroughly enjoy it, it's so much fun, he's always so aggressive, so arrogant, so mad. And it's because of me. I make him that way. It's gotten to a point where even my presence is enough to set him off. And I enjoy it. It's thrilling just to see how long it will take him to snap. Not that I enjoy being punched in the face, or stomach, or wherever he can manage, it's just amusing to say the least. But then again it always is.  
  
Recently I've decided that there is no reason for me to continue to deny my feeling for him, though I'm not about to tell him how I feel. It's not that I don't think I could tell him, it's just that the thought of telling him scares me. Because after everything I've put him through, there is no way he could possibly feel the same way about me. I don’t think I could handle the rejection that would follow my words. I often imagine what it would be like to tell him Aishiteru, and it never turns out good.  
  
In my imagination he always laughs at me, or tells me he thinks I'm crazy, and that he doesn't love me, and in my imagination, I always try to show him that I'm serious, and he always tells me he hates me. Sure I know he tells me he hates me on a daily basis, but it's always out of anger, the anger that I've usually been the one to cause.  
  
If I were to tell him I loved him, and he were to tell me he hated me, I don't think I could survive the hurt those words would cause, I would probably shatter into a million pieces.  
  
My Otouto tries to tell me that I will never know how he feels unless I tell him, but I know that after how I treat him he'll never love me. All the names I've called him, I know that if someone were to call me those names, though I would never admit to it or show it on my face, it would probably hurt, at least a little bit. I always refer to him as a dog, calling him names, insulting him. Stupid worthless mutt, Pathetic dog, I always tell him things like that, every time I see him. Though deep down, inside my mind, if only to myself, he'll always be Jounouchi Katsuya my Koibito puppy.  
  
 **End**  
  
  
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End file.
